As parents, when we feel that our sense of authority is being questioned by our children, we tend to resort to primitive measures to quickly regain our position of control. As a result, we commonly resort to physical and verbal punishment in our child rearing activities with the result that quite often ill feelings between child and parents remain unresolved.

Our spouses may feel similar pressures in their daily interaction with us. We may treat our spouses like kids. We may instruct them what to do, how to cook, what to wear and so on. When we do this sort of thing on a regular basis, do we ever consider how our spouses might feel? Being sensitive and considerate towards another person's feeling is the first step towards a healthier relationship.

Communication is such a complicated matter. Sensitivity increases and promotes the spirit of communication. There are so many couples who hardly speak to each other and even when they do actually talk, they argue. Couples complain that their spouse 'never listens' and that they 'were never understood'. Real communication involves putting yourself in someone else's shoes. When you are able to do that, you can listen, understand and read the true meaning and feelings in the other person's words.

In our training as police officers, we use conflict resolution when dealing with members of the public. It is conceivable then that if we applied these skills at home with our spouses, we would actually listen to their concerns, pay attention to what they are saying and be able to guage their true feelings. Try it. It will add a new dimension to your relationship.