Family Life Education Series
"Adolescent Turmoil - Or Is It?"

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We now move on to the stage of adolescence where children of these ages are mostly regarded as rebellious/terrible teens. Indeed, parents may not find it easy to deal with problems of their children at these ages, amid the fast changing environment of the society.

Professor Wong Chung-kwong, Chairman of Positive Living United Services, gave the following advice on how to handle children of this age group.

"There is a common belief that most if not all pre-teenagers and teenagers go through a period of 'adolescent turmoil' characterized by conflicts with their parents. The term 'rebellion' is often used to describe their attitude and behaviour.

"In fact the reverse is true. Worldwide research reveals that some 70 per cent of teenagers maintain harmonious relationship with their parents and go through adolescence happily and successfully.

"Adolescence is a period of rapid growth in all aspects, physically, emotionally, intellectually and socially. It is also a transitional period. Teenagers are neither children nor adults, and interestingly they are sort of both in one person. They may want to be more a 'child' at one time, and they cling to their parents and seek their affection and attention. They may wish to be more of an 'adult' at another time, and they do not want to be 'troubled' or interfered with by their parents.

"Teenagers need larger rooms for development, actually and metaphorically. They need larger beds, and they also need more freedom and autonomy. Successful parents respect this larger space teenagers need. They knock before getting into teenagers' rooms. They back off if teenagers are not in the right mood to talk.

"Am I saying parents cease to influence their children or even relinquish their parental authority? Absolutely not! The key to successful parenthood in this stage is 'mutual respect', 'emotional sensitivity' and 'the skills of empowerment'. Empowerment is a two-stage process. First, parents empower by asking gentle and open questions such as 'What will happen to your HKCEE examination if you continue to spend your time in the same manner?' This is much better than telling them off. By prompting teenagers to answer the salient questions we help them to own their answers and hence the problems. Second, we ask gentle and open questions regarding solutions such as 'How can you deal with this problem? ' Teenagers find, own and act upon their solutions.

"The other more unfortunate 30 per cent of teenagers do have a range of problems. Most of them and their parents do need help. Family therapy is often the most effective and efficient strategy to help because it attempts to understand and solve the problems by involving the whole family."

If you have any problems relating to your children of similar ages, please feel free to call your regional welfare office at the following telephone numbers:

(All consultations are treated in strict confidence)

HKI : 2804-1570

MAR : 2301-1670

KE : 2304-1400

KW : 2150-7988

NTN : 2673-5983

NTS : 2418-0050

(The full text will soon be uploaded onto the Healthy Lifestyle Website of POINT)