Communication is one of the most important life skills and may also be one of the most difficult to master. The major obstacle of ineffective communication is not lack of techniques, but our tendency to judge, assume and interpret before understanding the problems or issues. We think that we are helpful and effective communicators by providing others with our advice, but the fact is that your friends may not find any of your advice useful. What they want may not be your advice, but your understanding and care.

The key to effective communication is to practice empathic listening with the attitude to care, not necessarily to fix problems. We usually listen to others in order to respond. The primary goal of empathic listening is not to respond but to understand the others' needs and feelings.

This involves (1) putting aside our own judgement, assumptions and interpretation, (2) paying attention not only to the words of others but also the manner in which they are delivered, e.g. tone, facial expression and feelings, and (3) expressing your understanding to them.

Being understood is one of the universal needs of human beings. When one feels your care and understanding, one will be more willing to further open up to you. Communication becomes most effective in this atmosphere of openness and trust.

In your next conversation, if you like, try to set aside your instant judgement, stop giving advice for a short while and practice empathic listening. You may get a partial glimpse of what is in his/her mind.

Stress management workshops

The PSG will organise a series of stress management workshops to be conducted in Chinese.

Date : September 14

* Time: 8.45 am - 12.30 pm (Participants are requested to arrive 15 minutes early)

* Venue: Police Sports and Recreation Club Sportsman Bar

* Reservation: PSG (2866-6207)

Thirty places will be allocated on a first-come, first-served basis.

Seek advice and help from the Psychological Services Group:

PHQ, Hong Kong Island and Marine: 2866-6206 (5/F, 111 Leighton Road, Causeway Bay); Kowloon and the New Territories: 2735-3739 (22/F, Ocean Building, 80 Shanghai Street, Kowloon).

PEN: psg@police.gov.hk