Family Life Education Series
Enable your children with accurate perceptual abilities
It is amusing how different people perceive things differently. That particular perception affects their feeling, assumption and interpretation of the reality. Are parents aware that their perception of daily life events affects their children tremendously? In this article, Whole Person Development Institute (the former Positive Living United Services) Board of Advisers Chairman, Dr Wong Chung-kwong, will instil and enlighten us in this aspect.
In the ICAN model, 'perception' refers to people's observation and interpretation of themselves and their circumstances. For example, people who have lost half their fortune may have the following perception: "It's my great misfortune. I've lost half of all my wealth. I'm doomed!" However, they may also have a totally different perception: "Thank heavens, I've only lost half of my wealth. I still have the other half. I still have many opportunities!"
Both perceptions have truthfully interpreted the facts, since the loss of one half of one's wealth is in fact equivalent to still retaining one half. However, the two different perceptions lead to totally different emotional states and behavioural responses. The former perception often results in demoralisation and pessimism whereas the latter to revival and optimism.
Why do so many intelligent and educated people lack creativity and hold a pessimistic and negative attitude to life? There are three main reasons. First, they lack self-confidence. Second, they lack the ability to deal with emotional problems and as a result they become emotionally affected by setbacks, difficulties and stress in life. The emotional turmoil in turn limits their perception including their abilities to find solutions. Third, they lack training in thinking skills.
An important strategy for parents is to help their children acquire the ability to make an accurate and optimistic 'perception' of themselves and their circumstances.
We can use the 'personality functioning' of the 'ICAN' pragmatic psychology model to formulate our training strategies. We need to help children build up solid 'self-value' so that they trust their abilities and hence have the courage to look at their problems from new angles and also to find creative solutions. Second, we need to focus on 'emotion'. We train children to acquire emotional management skills so that they can handle and resolve emotional turmoil and remain calm in their mind when they deal with difficulties. Third, we need also to focus on 'behaviour'. We must encourage children to be innovative such as when they do their homework they are not to rely on memorised methods but rather to try different approaches. We should also train children on 'perception'. We train them in problem solving skills and creativity.
If you feel your children are passive and lack creativity, it is important that you understand their problems and try to find solutions in the light of their 'whole person'. In this era of stress and crisis, the ability to make accurate and positive appraisal of oneself and one's circumstance is an important key to survival and success.
From Welfare Services Group
