Family Life Education Series
The three Cs in family life

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At the Family Carnival 2005, some 150 Force members and their families and friends attended a seminar, which exemplified the gist of harmonious family life. The seminar was chaired by parenting expert Dr Sandra Tsang, who is also the Associate Dean of the Faculty of Social Sciences of the University of Hong Kong. Guest speakers included a media celebrity, Mr Cheng Dan Sui (Ah Daan), and a Marine Police Officer, Mr Ko Wing-cheung, who has survived the SARS.

Mr Ko contracted the disease during an operation at the Amoy Garden. His wife and son were also struck down by the disease but had subsequently recovered.

At the two-hour seminar, the speakers shared their views and personal experience of how to promote family life and parenting effectiveness, and emphasised the importance of the three "Cs", namely "cross generational", "committed" and "considerate", for relating better with their family members. The following is a gist of the seminar provided by Dr Tsang.

"Cross generational": Hong Kong families differ in size and complexity. There are multi-generational extended families living under the same roof and persons choosing to live alone. To optimise family life, parents should go beyond the focus on parenting effectiveness and draw on the social, intellectual and cultural resources of the larger family. "Ah Dann" witnessed how his two daughters "internalised" his respectful attitude to senior members of his family and benefited from cross-generational heritage.

"Committed": Quality family life requires both quality interaction and a reasonable amount of time to enhance communication and cultivate quality relationship. Parents should protect and care for their children, and help them solve their problems.

"Considerate": Instead of identifying a "one fits for all" kind of parenting style, the three speakers agreed that finding the best match in relating with different family members is the secret to harmonious family life. Meaningful parenting style must take into consideration the personality, competence, expectations and maturity of the parent and child. Younger children demand more parental company while adolescent youngsters need increasing physical and psychological space for identity search.