Family Life Education Series
Family Harmony -
the Keys to Family Harmony

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In this episode, we provide an article from Dr Wong Chung-kwong, Chairman, Board of Advisers, Whole Person Development Institute, on the simple keys to achieve a harmonious family.

Like all good things, a harmonious family is the result of efforts, but not only wish or intention. The following are the salient keys to family harmony.

(1) Respect each other and be respectable:

The most common stumbling block for happy families is "subjective and insensitive love". Love is a subjective feeling and it gives people confidence and a sense of security. Without good emotional sensitivity we often, out of good intention, say and do things that hurt family members. The guardian angel of harmonious family is mutual respect. We must respect the feelings, the physical space and the wish of our family members. For respect, we do not take our family members for granted. We must also be respectable, so that we deserve the respect of our family members. Respect begets respect, and that keeps a family closely knitted.

(2) Listen to feel and understand but not to judge:

A readily noticeable feature of harmonious families is good communication and the evidence that family members readily and willingly listen to one another. They listen to understand and to feel. In contrast, disharmonious families show two features: they are either very quiet - often sullenly so, or very noisy because everyone talks or perhaps even yells but nobody really listens! When we listen to feel and to understand we are actually also showing our family members our acceptance, understanding and respect for them, and that will cherish good family bonding.

(3) Express feelings, thoughts and needs positively and clearly:

Members of harmonious families also express themselves clearly and positively. This is so when they express their love; they spontaneously and truthfully say, "I love you." When they feel unhappy, they can also express that feeling clearly and constructively rather than using language of blame or through behavioral language such as banging doors or staying out of home.

(4) Abide by good family values:

We all have deficiencies and make mistakes. All harmonious families have disharmonious moments. At the end, it is good for family values that bind family together. Without good family values, moments of crisis often shatter a family. Shared common values, beliefs and goals join a family together.

More and more families have become dysfunctional, as more and more people suffer from burnout and other psychological ailment in this era of stress and change. A harmonious family is a haven and a blessed place. It makes sense for us to work hard for it.

PS & SR Branch Welfare Service Group