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What is a pleasant life?
As mentioned in the last issue of PsyNet, we can make ourselves happier even though we do not have to change our circumstances, and living a pleasant life is one of the three pathways leading to authentic happiness. To live a pleasant life means you actively pursue and enhance positive emotions about the past (described below), future and present (to be discussed in the next issue). In other words, you can make yourself happier by changing the way you view the past, hope for the future, and fully experience the present.
Satisfaction with the past
Depressed people usually view negative things in their past with regrets, bitterness and anger, while happy people tend to be more neutral or even grateful. You can understand this when you talk to a retired police officer who recounts the experiences of his police career with pride and satisfaction.
Your future is not totally determined by your past
To feel more satisfied, you can change your attitude about the past. Firstly, don't believe that your future is totally determined by your past, because people with such belief usually magnifies past failures and tend to be more passive to make changes.
Gratitude
Secondly, look at your past with a grateful heart by appreciating the positive things that have happened, and this attitude adds to life satisfaction. Life usually has two sides. Instead of just focussing on the negative side, try to identify positive personal experiences. As a police officer, have you ever enjoyed the success of completing a major operation, or appreciated colleagues' brotherhood and partnership in the process? Or, have you ever felt satisfied after helping a citizen in need and distress? Or have you ever been grateful for what you have, after handling cases involving citizens who are unemployed or seriously ill? It is easy to miss feeling how good or lucky we are when nothing bad has happened to us, but we should not take this for granted.
Forgiveness
Thirdly, trying to forgive those who have hurt you may be the hardest to do for most people. As mentioned before, how you feel about the past is totally dependent on your memory. Having a memory filled with bitterness and anger can be a painful experience. Some studies show that those who forgive tend to be healthier, especially in the cardiovascular system, than those who do not. Forgiving can diffuse the bitterness in memory and enhance satisfaction.
To enhance your ability to experience more positive emotions, you can keep a diary on the happenings that you feel grateful for and to express thanks to those who have positively changed your life. You can easily notice how such practice affects your feelings in weeks.
You may find more information about positive emotions at www.authentichappiness.org.
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