Nothing can do better than emotion in narrowing or widening the gap among people.

Johnny went home after work with a weary body and a mind full of grievances arising from his boss's bitter reproach in the morning. When he arrived home, his wife Fanny was too busy preparing dinner in the kitchen to speak to him. His son was playing in the sitting room, with toys all over the sofa. Without space for a good rest and comfort from his wife upon his returning home after a hard day, Johnny suddenly felt very upset and complained: "Why is the house so messy? How come the dinner is not ready yet?"

Having heard Johnny's complaint, Fanny thought: "I've been doing the chores the whole day without a break; how can you behave like a master upon returning home?" As they kept retorting each other, it turned into a big quarrel.

Both Johnny and Fanny did not realise that their emotions were in fact a reflection of their inner needs. Therefore, they failed to soothe their own dissatisfaction or properly express the expectations they have for each other. As a result, anger, frustration and disappointment filled up their minds.

In fact, if a couple can handle their emotions properly, not only can unnecessary quarrel be avoided, confrontation can also be turned into mutual respect and acceptance, thereby fostering the intimate love between them.

In maintaining an intimate loving relationship, a couple needs to handle their emotions in the following ways:

(1) Live in the present and face your emotion - If a couple can be sensitive to their own emotional changes at any moment and face their feelings, such as anger and fear, honestly and courageously, they can have a better understanding and handling of their emotions.

(2) Properly express emotional feelings - When a couple can face their own emotions, they should also learn to properly express their feelings, such as by saying "I am very frustrated today because I was blamed by my boss this morning".

(3) Walk abreast with each other - To maintain a good relationship, a couple needs to share and exchange their emotional feelings. If they can set aside their established mindsets, listen to their spouse in a non-critical, caring and accepting manner as well as understanding each other's feelings, they will have spiritual resonance, and a strong rapport will be built up under such interactions.

Handling of emotion plays a very important role in marriage. Improper handling may lead to disaster while good handling not only can head off crises but also can enhance the intimacy of a couple. It should be noted that everybody will get angry and upset, but it is of utmost importance to give vent to anger at the right time, right place and in the right manner.

PS & SR Branch Welfare Service Group