Family Life Education Series
Parent-child Play Counselling is vital

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Dr Poon Wai-chi, Advisor of Psychological Consultancy of Distinctive Learning Society, considers that the meaning of "talent" should include creativity and uniqueness, intelligence and wisdom, and happiness and friendliness. Children are born with these potentials and therefore every child is talented. Dr Poon has given the following advice.

If parents have an effective parenting method and are willing to help their child patiently, the potentials of the latter will be well developed. Parent-child play counselling can help parents learn how to build a close relationship with their children and obtain the communication skills that facilitate development of their child's potentials. This method not only can satisfy children's need for a close relationship with parents, but also can develop their potentials.

Parents may set a 30-minute play session with their children each week. Before the session, parents may select some toys that can encourage interaction, such as puppets and dolls, or can stimulate creativity, such as building blocks and drawing tools. During the play session, the children should lead the games with their parents simply following instructions and enjoying the games.

Understanding the inner world of your child

As children can freely express their thinking during the play session, parents can understand the thoughts of their child better through patient observation. Children may, on some occasions, play the role of a mother and shout at the dolls or even kick the puppets, but there are also times when they have a gentle feeling of their dolls. These games reflect their feelings about life. Sometimes, they may feel angry or even dissatisfied with their parents, but when they feel happy, they may imitate their parents or doctor to take care of other people.

Whether children are easy to get along with or difficult to understand, their parents should accept the unique character of their children, and explore their potentials. Being touched by the love and acceptance of parents, a child will develop in a positive direction and become a mature and independent person.

Parents should respond actively to their child's happiness, sorrow, anger and fear. In making a verbal response to their child's different emotions, parents should also give facial expressions corresponding to the relevant emotions, and share laughter and tears with their child.

Encourage your child to be spontaneous and creative

Parents know the abilities of their child well. You will say: "Open the box by yourself without mom's help." To encourage your child, you will say: "Although the blocks have fallen, you will try to stack them up again, won't you?" If parents can specify positive action for their children, the latter will understand specifically their own abilities and build up self-esteem and self-confidence.

With the admiration and support of their fans, singers will try their best to perform. If parents can become super fans of their children, the latter will play heartily and even take the initiative to show their creativity. Once there was a 10-year-old girl studying in primary four whose academic performance fell behind those of her classmates. She had no self-confidence and never walked with her head high. But a big change took place after she was praised for her drawing. After this, she became a happy and cheerful child with self-motivation and made an effort to draw more pictures.

Setting restrictions

If a child intends to behave unruly, parents should restrict such behaviour with the following three steps:

1. Show their understanding of their child's emotion: "I know you wish to ..." or "I understand you feel ..."

2. Set the rules: "But you are not allowed to touch the socket because it is dangerous."

3. Offer an alternative: "You may choose to play with this toy."

Parents will certainly stand to gain from parent-child play counselling, as long as they understand the rationale and grasp the techniques.

PS & SR Branch Welfare Service Group
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