PsyNet
Effective Ways to Enhance Happiness (3):
Avoiding over-thinking and social comparison
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In the past two issues we introduced the two exercises to enhance happiness, "Expressing Gratitude" and "Cultivating Optimism", which are listed in the book, "The How of Happiness", by Prof Sonja Lyubomirsky. In this issue, we look at "Avoiding over-thinking and social comparison", and some effective ways to clear obstacles to happiness.
Have you ever had the experience of ruminating over a negative situation in your head over and over again, thinking about every detail of your action and it's consequences, and comparing yourself with others? We all fall into the trap of over-thinking and social comparison at some points, but if we fail to do something to stop it, it could give rise to negative emotions, such as anxiety, depression and lower self-esteem. Below are three of the strategies to avoid over-thinking, suggested by Prof Lyubomirsky.
Distract
When your mind begins ruminating, find an activity you LIKE to do that will "engages and absorbs" you, such as listening to your favourite music, watching a good movie, or meeting your friends. In other words, do something that can re-direct your attention to something that makes you feel good.
STOP
When you are ruminating, yell "STOP" or "NO" either out loud or in your mind and find something else to think about, or refocus on what you should be doing. Prevent yourself from falling into the spiral of negative thoughts.
Writing it out
Writing out your rumination can help you re-organise your thoughts, make sense of them and see it in a different way. It can also help you snap out of the thinking spiral.
What we think determines how we feel and behave. If we deliberately add more positive elements like gratitude and optimism in our thoughts while at the same time protect our mind from those excessive ruminations, happiness would then just around the corner.